Grant Stiles is not dead yet.

Hey, I'm Grant Stiles.  

I'm from Cincinnati, Ohio. I write and perform comedy and I make videos sometimes. I like music and I'm relatively friendly.
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12. Ocean’s Twelve

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This disc never gets taken out of the “Ocean’s” movie box set because no one cares.

11. Stuck on You

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Greg Kinnear is in it and it’s pretty funny, however, no one cares.

10. Courage Under Fire

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Piggybacking off of “A Few Good Men” this movie doesn’t even get re-run on TNT.  Probably because no one cares.

9. EuroTrip

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Matt Damon makes a hilarious cameo in this cult classic.  The one fatal flaw in this film is that people don’t care.

8. The Adjustment Bureau

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Interesting premise and commentary on society.  Unfortunately, social commentary isn’t something anyone ever cares about.

7. Green Zone

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A movie about soldiers.  People seem to care about soldiers at least a little bit, but not about fictional Matt Damon soldiers.

6. We Bought A Zoo

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Animals and kids are things people try to care about.  Matt Damon dips into both and it leads to no one caring.

5. Elysium

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The guy from District 9 directed it and he decided to give Matt Damon a Laser Tag gun to fight Jodie Foster and people ended up not caring.

4. The Legend of Bagger Vance

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It’s about golf, a thing no one cares about.

3. The Promised Land

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Jim from the Office and Matt Damon go to a small town to fight a legal battle over land and it’s boring because it’s about land and no one cares about land.

2. The Monuments Men

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It has all the right ingredients for people to care about it: Bill Murray, Clooney, history stuff, and war stuff.  The plot is weird and Matt Damon is in it but still no one cares.

1. Invictus

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Its about rugby and Matt Damon’s character isn’t even that good at rugby.  Most people don’t know anything about rugby or care about it.  The movie explains rugby as basically a mass of dudes shoving each other’s butts and tackling each other.  Basically American Football but with more butts.  These aren’t things people care about.  No one cares, Matt Damon.

Honorable Mention: The Bourne Trilogy

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Really?  Spies?  What is this the Cold War?  Get over yourself.  No one cares.

Twitter knows me a little too well :)

Twitter knows me a little too well :)

"Son, love is like a cold beer. You don’t realize how much you need it until it’s gone."

"But Dad, you and mom have been divorced for years now."

"What?! Since when? Go out and get me a damn beer."

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Joey Ramone 4 ASB. Prez.

That face you make when you’re Stephen Malkmus.